Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Pan Troglydytes of the World Unite

It looks like we may have a new spectacle in the Cultural Wars approaching. The Theatre of War this time is ... Wait for it...Vienna- Vienna? say what? Not only that, This showdown is about the human rights of a Chimpanzee!

Check it out

Well it seems it is probably more about his right to stay out of the local vivisection lab. Now a noble crew of Primate Groupies are hurling fist fulls of cash and thumping their chests for all the world, and just generally stirring up some hominid righteousness which, if you think about it, is what is right.

After his trip through the court systems Haisl,the chimp, will surely come out with a new blood thirst for humans and a mean overhand attack with a sharpened stick to impale his chimp detractors.

Or maybe he is held in contempt of court for smoking a cigarette and spends a long week end in the local lock up before being bailed out by Paul McCartney or Robin Williams and ultimately returned to his homeland. Where he would shiv his way to the top and rule benevolently in a self assured god-like status, knowing the human world so intimately. And mucho mating.

All I really know is that he needs to get the hell out of northern Europe. Even their Artist are uniquely barbaric. This Fellow tattoos Swine.

1 comment:

The Gid said...

Whatcha gotta realize, of course, is that monkeys & men are like horses and ass -- i.e., fully mate-able &, therefore, fully indistinguisable.

Most noteable, the Soviets stockpiled their army full of humangutans via the works of one Ilya Ivanoy & his son (who bears the same name).

Plenty of other examples, but why beat a dead mule? The point is, we're more monkey than angel.

Look at the Cro-mags, e.g., -- they didn't die out, my friend, they were interbred into us.

In other words, them monkeys don't need rights...cuz their gonna interbreed us right out of existence anyhow. Or rather, they already have.