Friday, April 13, 2007

Sweet Cheeta

I hope I do not have to apologize for the simian centric posts as of late but we have some special monkey news for you. Everybody wish Cheeta, the worlds most famous living monkey a wonderful 75th birthday.

According to the internets, Cheeta's career began in 1932 with Tarzan the Ape Man and went on to make a total of 12 Hollywood pictures. Most of Cheeta's pictures were Tarzan films, but he did foray into some animal ensemble work with 1942's Dr Doolittle.

According to Hollywood legend, Cheeta was apparently growing more and more despondent over the publics view of him as Tarzan's sidekick and not the other way around.

After his smashing performance in Dr Doolittle, Cheeta retired to his Palm Springs animal sanctuary were he unwinds embalming sharks in large boxes of glass. No not really, He makes and sells abstract paintings.

I had no idea how long monkeys could live so I checked it out and it appears that monkeys that live in the wild usually live to between 30 and 40, whereas monkeys in captivity live to be about 60.

Unless that monkey picks up bad habits like smoking or wields a firearm in gangsta fashion.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Pan Troglydytes of the World Unite

It looks like we may have a new spectacle in the Cultural Wars approaching. The Theatre of War this time is ... Wait for it...Vienna- Vienna? say what? Not only that, This showdown is about the human rights of a Chimpanzee!

Check it out

Well it seems it is probably more about his right to stay out of the local vivisection lab. Now a noble crew of Primate Groupies are hurling fist fulls of cash and thumping their chests for all the world, and just generally stirring up some hominid righteousness which, if you think about it, is what is right.

After his trip through the court systems Haisl,the chimp, will surely come out with a new blood thirst for humans and a mean overhand attack with a sharpened stick to impale his chimp detractors.

Or maybe he is held in contempt of court for smoking a cigarette and spends a long week end in the local lock up before being bailed out by Paul McCartney or Robin Williams and ultimately returned to his homeland. Where he would shiv his way to the top and rule benevolently in a self assured god-like status, knowing the human world so intimately. And mucho mating.

All I really know is that he needs to get the hell out of northern Europe. Even their Artist are uniquely barbaric. This Fellow tattoos Swine.